This will ideally be a beautifully coded and decorated webpage in no time, HOWEVER I am a complete coding novice and am tearing my hair out and consulting pals on how to do this bloody thing. My goal for creating this webspace is to have my own little space on the web, removed from traditional social media, which I am sick of but can't seem to escape from.
I am a 21 year old woman from Scotland (Saor Alba) who enjoys music, pole dancing, archery, reading, and going to the gym. I am a homebody who prizes my nest and trinkets, and I don't tend to travel ever really due to severe anxiety and my stomach problems which can make my world feel quite small and isolating at times, however I keep myself busy as best I can with hobbies and work.
I have alot of fantasies and dreams about the future, which is why I think my anxiety hasn't got the better of me yet. I'm the opposite of suicidal and I've long outgrown the angst of being a young teenager, but am reaping the consequences of the actions taken in this part of my life.
If you are an angsty teen reading this I promise that thinking yourself into a hole only makes things worse, and exercise genuinely does make you feel better, as much as you dont want to hear it
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"I have known people like you, Never in myself. No. Only poorly, unfortunately mimicked by myself. Never truly. Never even intentionally. I have known you. At night, for so, so long. I have bled to be you. I have swollen to capacity and burst, to be you. To no avail, never natural. Never quite right. Off, in a word.
The envy doesn't slice so deeply anymore, Only occassionally irritates old scars. Sometimes at night, Sometimes for a moment. I can catch myself now. A net once full of holes, now reinforced with wire. Not strong wire, not yet. But it's in the post.
One day it will e reupholdstered into a gorgeous tapestry. Of a person, a full person. Who will no longer remember your name, No matter how hard she tries. None of this will matter, Not that it ever did"